(no subject)

Wow... so it's been AWHILE since I've wrote in this thing.
It's amazing how things change & honestly I don't even know how I feel.

These past few months, well actually this year has been hard for me. But at the same time I've learned soo much about me. I never knew what I was capable of doing until now. I have never been so proud of myself in my life. It's a nice feeling knowing how strong you really are, years ago I never would of seen myself this way.
I've let go of a lot of people and let a lot of people into my life and it doesn't even bother me. My heart has been broken, & still is but you would never know it. Moving on is nice... it's funny how even though Stephen and I broke up we still hang out like old times. Nothing has changed, being with him just feels right. And it's not like I get upset being around him since we're not together... I don't even think about all we've been through. All I do is smile when I see him & I know people hate it but I could care less. I'm having the time of my life.
I've met some great people & I'm pleased with how things have turned out.
Now I can actually say "Everything happens for a reason" & mean it.

Tonight was one of the most amazing nights I've had in a while. It was much needed.

I'm so not ready for school to start. I'm dreading it! :[
...so much to do...so little time.

Anywaysss, my birthday is coming up.
talk about exciting. lol.
I'll be getting my permit soon which makes me happy.

I'm happy.
I love my life.

But now it's time for bed, I have to work tomorrow.

[Hope everyone else is doing as good as me]

  • Current Music
    Trace Adkins - I Wanna Feel Something

(no subject)

Some things are just too good to be true.

Don't get me wrong, I love Jack to death... but I don't think I've ever been so unhappy in a relationship (if that makes sense). I don't get myself at all anymore. Nothing is how it used to be, all the friends I HAD are no longer there for me.. I guess that's my fault. =/
Hanging up, throwing my phone, and crying is becoming a daily thing for me these days. I don't know what I would do without him but it's like.. I don't know. When I'm with him I'm completely happy & when it's time to say goodbye it's just like whatever, it's so hard. And when I'm away from him I'm miserable.

I never meant for it to be like this. I never meant to abandon all my friends like this. I never meant to fall for him like this. There's nothing I can do about it. I know if I lost Jack, I would be worse off, he's the only person I have. Just lately I haven't been happy and I blame that on him. I don't know why he even puts up with me. it's pretty pathetic. I think I'm afraid to lose him & I've never had a boy like him and I'm not used to it. I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

I've gotta figure myself out, being upset all the time isn't worth it and yelling at him for my selfishness isn't fair either.

Making mistakes seems to be the only thing I'm good at lately...

♥ 7/23/06
  • Current Music
    Michael Buble- Home

(no subject)

I Love my boyfriend, & I love how life has been lately.
Mine and Jack's 2 months is Saturday. =] it seems like forever, he's the best.

School is realllly good too. I can tell I'm gonna love high school.
But I hate waking up so damn early! Grr.

I wish me & Erica were still "friends", it sucks. I don't even know why we even stopped talking... but things just aren't the same. I really don't care though, it's her choice.

My birthday was 2 weeks ago. It was good. First birthday with a boyfriend.. =] but yeah.

Country music makes me happy. I <3 this song.. My Wish.

I had things I wanted to say before I started writing in this stupid thing but now it's like blah. lol.

  • Current Music
    My Wish - Rascal Flatts

(no subject)

So I really don't update anymore.. I don't know why.
Everything has been really good lately, summer has been really good♥. I'm kinda excited for school to start though =).
Also, I've been going to Tumbling now for about a month. It's a lot of fun! I can do a back handspring ALL BY MYSELF.. I'm proud. lol. I can't wait for Cheerleading tryouts next year.

We just got back from vacation last Saturday. I was glad to get away from Lakeland. Deff. had fun!!

I just got home from Erica's house. I Loooove her. She's my favorite ;)
& yesterday Skittlez came over and he took us to the mall. Had lots of fun, I love that kid to death. Then last night me, Danielle and Samantha went to the movies and saw the Omen. Jesus christ.. that shit was scary! I couldn't sleep last night.

Sometimes I don't understand the world. Wednesday Jamie died.. and it just doesn't feel real. Last night I cried so hard, I haven't cried like that since Kassie. It's so hard.. one day they're here and the next day you find out you'll never see them again =(. It upsets me.. and it's not fair. But I guess she's somewhere better now.. =/ 
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  • Current Music
    Paris Hilton- Stars R Blind

(no subject)

Wow, so it's been forever.

Hmm. well I have gallstones & probably have to get surgery. Sucks, I'm scared.
& Summer is coming up, -sigh- I want to kill my memories.
But I'm talking to Jeremy & he's making me feel better. kinda =/
I ♥ that kid!

Everything has been good lately. Just not the past couple days. But it's alright, tonight just is NOT a good night.

Anyways, so I drove past HIS house today. Oh boy, needless to say I cried. hahaha, no not funny. =(
ha God damnit I HATE the Southside.

I'm trying out for cheerleading. =D

okay bye kiddos<3
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

Today was a good day.
I haven't had a bad day in a while.
Life is good.
soo I'm eating cookie dough ice cream =D yumm.
& I don't know why I'm updating.. I was just bored.
Cadi told me I smelt good. hehe
OHOHOHOH! my mommy bought me these super cute Tinkerbell pants Monday. i love them.

  • Current Music
    Anberlin- Never Take Friendship Personal